After many years of scolding myself at the thought of success, I can say confidently that I am doing well. Whole heartedly believing It is the premiere part. It is like being set free from a cage you have been trapped in unknowingly for the past 17 years. The past few weeks I have woke up to a dapper crowd of people who both excite and scare me. The fear that happiness is an allusion and won’t last is a constant predicament to a 17 year old girl’s mind. The fact of the matter is it can be argued to be true. Happiness does not last forever. It is knowing this and accepting this that has helped me hold on tight to God’s support. I know that He wishes happiness upon me and also wants me to endure the hardest of times. Without the knowledge of depression, mood swings, ED thoughts, and all other fine goods I would think of happiness as average. Adversity builds resiliency which refines your character. Along with that, It is important to stop yourself and exclaim “I am having a fantastic day and I am doing well in my life”. I don’t care if it’s to another person, a dog, or a darn coffee machine. Just get It out. Don’t get me wrong, self sabotage is on my brain 23 out of the 24 hours a day. Some days I slip up. Lately, my ED is creeping back into my life. I know it’s there and yet I continue to push It under a rug hoping I won’t have to look at It. In reality, the ED thoughts won’t leave, but when I face fear in the face I can finally see what I am truly afraid of. For me It is accepting myself. I just want to share with all of you that believing in yourself is a day to day choice and challenge. Some days you make the choice to get out of bed and fight and other days you chose to ruminate under the covers hiding from the chaos around you and inside of you. Remember to be kind to yourself. I mess up, my parents mess up, even Michelle Obama messes up. At the end of the day, you are the one who is living with you. Your life is going to be a whole loads better if you’re at least getting along with your roommate.
Embracing your Inner Roommate
Babblings by Anxiety's Elite 