I know it’s been F-O-R-E-V-E-R since I’ve written on this sweet ol’ thing & I really want to change that.
I’ve actually been thinking about a lot of things in my life that I want to change so that I can stay present and live in the moment.
One of those things was deleting my Instagram account.
Here’s a story that will grasp your attention like Nicholas Cage’s acting: it shall be boring probs and result in stealing the Declaration of Independence.
So when I was in South Carolina, in my last six weeks….
Wait, you’re still reading this?
OMG YOU ARE A REAL ONE. I’ll now venmo you a dollar.
Anywayz, in the last six weeks of living in South Carolina, I really wanted to make sure that I could keep who I had become since living there SO, I fasted. For a week.
Okay okay, I know what you’re thinking.
“What a psycho.”
“OMG WHAT A CLEANSE!”
“How is she alive.”
WELL GENTS & LADY FRIENDS, I fasted each day, still drank water because hello, I would like to live and I always broke my fast each day at 5 p.m. to eat dinner than I would start my fast again at 6 p.m.
This has been the only time in my life where I felt prompted to do that and I hope to heavens never again (unless, like you want me to God, than sure, just 4 u)
At the end of my fast, I remember getting on my knees to pray & just asking to know what I needed to do and clear as a day I heard this:
“Live in the moment & whatever comes to your mind: just do it.”
I know what you’re thinking, “Isn’t that a Nike commercial slogan?”
They stole it from me.
Jk. It was God/higher power.
I took this advice home with me but it actually is a daily struggle of mine to live in the moment and to have the confidence to act on a good thought or to face things that terrify me.
Recently, I have been praying to know what I could do to live in the moment and to be able to hear God’s voice more & honestly to just be in tune with myself and have compassion on myself.
So, as I’ve been asking what I can do and I kept getting this slight nudge to just delete my Instagram account.
At first I was like, “no.”
Then I thought…. “no.”
But as I thought about it, I realized that the only reason I was keeping it was because I didn’t want to “miss out” on what people were doing.
Whilst thinking of that, it went even deeper to the point that I realized I didn’t want to delete my account because I didn’t want people to forget about me.
I was scared that if I deleted it, I would realize that I am easily forgettable and that is honestly one of my worst fears: to be forgotten.
When I realized that was the issue, I knew I had to delete it. So I did.
I feel like an addict because ya girl has had “withdrawals” and now my phone battery doesn’t almost die because I literally do nothing on it BUT I am confronting my fears and I am proud of it.
So I guess what I am trying to say is look into your life and see what you can do to just live in the moment and get to know yourself.
I know that now I won’t know what Beyonce is wearing or how well certain bloggers kids are doing or if Nicki Minaj is angry, but alas, I think I shall live.