So, ya girl is graduating this week.
I know what you’re thinking. PRAISE GOD.
Oh don’t you worry, I am.
But as this week was approaching, my pubescent trials of my past came knocking on my door.
Actually, no. More like robbing me and then making permanent residence.
I literally broke out on my ENTIRE face. Not like a “normal” break out of acne where I would complain and be “woest me” about the land mine that had taken residence on my face.
No, this was a whole other arena. It looked like an army was staking out on my face and you know the best part?
I DEVELOPED A THIRD EYE IN BETWEEN MY OTHER TWO EYES.
The first time in my life, I got a cyst.
Even though you can’t tell in this picture, the thing ’twas the size of Jupiter.
Or at least it is for me. I’ve never had one before, but it hurts. I now know what it does feel like to grow a third eye.
It’s incredibly fun .
I did find out that this new med I am taking, one of its side effects is CYSTS AND ACNE.
But on a more serious note, last Friday I honestly felt super gross (I know I know, first world problems, you caught me). I just kept looking in the mirror at my third eye named Patty and just thought, “of course this would happen the week of graduation. Maybe I need Patty for comfort.”
No amount of makeup could cover the mother of all eyes on my face. And no way that people wouldn’t notice.
And to all my friends and roommates that kept saying, “you can’t even tell,” even though friends aren’t supposed to lie, I am incredibly thankful to have you in my corner.
But for the day I was sulking about this (which had a domino effect in me feeling that I looked super fat because my meds supposedly will make me gain weight, blasay blasay blasay) I realized that I had two choices.
A) Choose to think I looked disgusting, do all in my power to cover up and hide out like a crazed hermit because I was scared of the judgment of OTHER people
B) I could choose to love myself no matter what stage my body is in.
It’s that simple and that hard.
So, I decided to love myself in this stage and even had fun with it.
I called it “Patty”, my third eye, my all knowing eye, etc.
I went out with friends sans make-up (can you believe?! The audacity!).
I went to school, studied hard and prayed to know how I could cover up this mother for graduation.
I felt and feel fine and I truly do love myself.
I know, “yay, Emily found this self-love. Good for her.”
Why thank you.
But seriously. It is hard work, especially being programmed by the world that you have to look a certain way in order to be accepted, but to love yourself at any stage is actually incredibly freeing.
I wish we could all take the chance to step back and say, “I am going to love myself and my body at any stage.”
We all deserve that.