Sometimes I feel like it’s more a burden to have such a big, empathetic heart in a way.
I mean, you feel your emotions so deeply and then you’re able to feel what others feel in the same manner.
It feels like lately that I have people that I care about *so* much that have to go through such hard, refining trials. When someone opens their heart to you, when you’re allowed in, you see that you are standing on sacred ground. You feel it. You feel what they’re feeling.
You begin to see that hard emotions are not black & white. They are complex, they are excruciating and they are also so painful. It doesn’t matter if your actions led to the hard emotions or some event or person’s actions are the reason. They hurt. They’re heavy. They make one feel alone, helpless and the loneliness is intense & long.
With one of the people that I care so much about, feeling their pain & sadness & knowing that there is no control over it is the world’s worst. I wish I could take it away. I wish I could take it on for them. I wish I had the right words to say to help or support. I just wish that I could have the “silver bullet” that would just solve it all.
I know Someone else already has.
Christ is the Captain of our wounded hearts. He has the exact remedy to heal any wounded soul. Sometimes that healing can happen in a day but for me, I see that it is long, painful and excruciating BUT it is everlasting and I can feel myself becoming whole.
It’s hard. You have to trust that it will all work out. You have to believe that it will all be okay in the end and peace can be restored.
It’s not easy but from the times I’ve been through it or maybe I am still in the process, who knows. All I know is that I am trying to trust that it will be worth it in the end.