You will NOT believe it.
My boyfriend named anxiety has been so cool guys.
Like lately, he’s put so much pressure on me of what I should say or look like or gives me advice of just shutting out everyone or putting labels on people so that I won’t connect with them etc. Just super helpful.
I’m serious. He’s like really helping me to see that I need to create stronger boundaries in the relationship with him because homebody needs to get the %$#@ outta here.
I wish he would have a little bit more empathy with ya girl by lookin’ at the facts:
- I just moved thousands of miles across the country to live in one of the biggest cities all alone.
- I am literally getting my Master’s degree and it’s going to be overwhelming and I need to pace myself.
- Again, I am straight up alone. Like I know, I know, I do know some people out here and I am ETERNALLLLLY grateful for them but you know that lonely feeling that sometimes aches in the deepest part of your heart? Yeah, that can STILL be there even when you’re surrounded by people.
- I have to make new friends, connections every single day.
- I have to learn how to navigate this damn subway system that I have already gotten lost 8 times on BUT I have had some success so lemme buy myself some strawberry milk as a celebration.
But really, I am grateful for my anxiety. It helps me realize each day that I am a human being and it helps motivate me more than I can say. It has a purpose and plan in my life, no matter how sucky the negative aspects of it can be. And I want to develop a healthy relationship with my anxiety. I know I can, I have done it before. It takes effort. Effort that I need to make on MY end. I need to state and create MY boundaries and coping skills and to communicate that or else he’ll just keep doing what he wants as I stand idly by.
I don’t want to wait. I have the ability and I want to do it. I need to act on the want even when the anxiety is crushing.
Anyway, anxiety can be a friend that I can hold boundaries with when he tries to kill my groove.
Don’t kill my vibe, dude.