To: One of my favorite people

I know you’re struggling. I know you feel like you have to do it alone or that you deserve to be alone.…..who do you think that thought came from?

I know the pain you’re feeling is excruciating and you don’t know when the hopeless feeling is going to let up.

I know that you’re obsessing over every thought and detail or on what you could have done differently to avoid this pain.…..I bet that is a TON of fun.

I know you’ve replayed every scenario in your head of what you could do to erase all of this.

I know a part of you hates yourself for the feelings that you have and continue to have

I know there is an immense amount of shame and guilt.

I know you feel like you’re not deserving of the love of God and His Son.…but it’s not a matter of “deserving”, that love is already there.

And I definitely know you don’t feel like you’re deserving of Their peace...but honestly, you don’t have a choice in that.

I know you want to trust but you give in to the negative brewing inside your heart. You know the brewing that sucks you in like a black hole and you feel like you just can’t breathe.

I know you feel utterly alone and that you also feel the emotions of those around you who are struggling and wish you could take their pain away, too.

I know you already know all of this,

but

challenge it.

Start to believe and actually trust that you’re worth every good thing in your life.

You make mistakes and yes they have consequences. But a broken heart and a contrite spirit, someone that truly turns back to Him after making the worst mistake is worthy of forgiveness and peace.

Even with His disappointment, His hand is stretched out still.

Just believe Him & in Him. Trust Him. Trust that you don’t have to do it alone and that people around you truly care.

Allow them to help you. Allow yourself to believe that maybe, just maaaaaaybe God put them in your life for a reason.

Your stubbornness can be a strength, but hailz bellz, right now it’s a weakness.

Let people love you and trust that they aren’t going to leave because you think you’re not worth it and that you’ve screwed up too many times & that you deserve the pain you have.

Because ya girl ain’t having it.

And neither is God.

Love,

Me

 

4-up on 2-14-18 at 5.19 PM #5 (compiled)

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